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Brenda McNair Williams passed away peacefully on September 22, 2022 in Tacoma, Washington, following a sudden heart attack. She was 72 years old. She exemplified a life well-lived and remained a faithful Christian her entire life.
Brenda was born on December 11, 1949, in Pocatello, Idaho, the youngest child of Milt and Ada McNair. Her immediate family included four older siblings (Rex, Phyllis, Valene, and Linda), and three older step siblings (Vonda, Maxine, and Blaine). Some of Brenda’s earliest memories were with her sisters, picking fruit from a neighbor’s tree. When Brenda was 6-yrs old (1955), her mother Ada left home and would not return for many years. Brenda attended elementary school in Moreland, Idaho, where her brother Rex and his new wife Elaine lived, and spent her weekends with Milt. Milt passed away in 1959 when Brenda was only 10-yrs old.
Brenda then lived permanently with Rex and Elaine, who loved her as their own daughter. Rex and Elaine had three more children - Dan, Julie, and Angela; each who loved and considered Brenda their older sister. Elaine recalled a tender time in those early years, when Brenda had hidden a small bottle under her pillow. Inside the bottle was a picture of Brenda’s mother, and Elaine resolved then and there to create a loving, close relationship with Brenda. Her continued efforts earned her the title of “Mother” in Brenda’s eyes – and she truly was.
Once, during a PTA program with parents, a teacher asked Brenda, “What is something unique about you?” Brenda answered, “My father is my brother.” That certainly raised a few eyebrows. Rex loved Brenda both as his little sister and as his eldest daughter. He will always remember her beautiful smile and dark, violet-colored eyes, so like their mother’s. Ada sent Brenda a box of chocolates every year for her birthday and Christmas. Brenda always hid them in her bedroom, and in the evening, when the grown-ups were fast asleep, Brenda drug out the box to share her treats with her siblings. This routine led likely led to Brenda becoming a “chocolate-ohalic”.
Brenda also developed a love of the outdoors and for animals. Her contagious spirit helped the family survive 14 people sleeping in tent for 6 after a family outing to Spruce Lake was rained out. Brenda came from heaven with the gift of being an excellent cook, a skill augmented by both her mothers. Brenda further nurtured her skill in the family garden, cultivating fruits and vegetables to cook for her family. All the siblings remember shelling peas and snapping beans on the front porch together. When Brenda babysat the children at home, she always cooked popcorn in an open pan, or made fudge as a treat. Typically, such nights would end with something scary. Once, one of Brenda’s dates snuck into the unfinished basement and, after a scary story, left behind wet skeleton tracks. When the kids saw the skeleton prints on the floor, the basement was harder to play in.
Growing up, Brenda often visited her cousins, Mary and Sandy, who lived in Challis, Idaho, where Elaine was raised. Brenda enjoyed playing in the old car body in the back yard the children had remodeled into a ‘fort’. Mary and Sandy took Brenda to the old swimming hole in Challis creek that ran beside the family ranch. The swim was daily past-time in the summer. One day, Brenda stepped in a fresh cow pie while dressed in her swim-suite and sandals. She was beside herself worrying about her foot falling off or catching some strange disease, so Mary and Sandy quickly calmed her by jumping in the fresh cow pies themselves. All three of the girls walked home, proud to be ‘country girls who can survive’. Later in her school years, as a Senior, Brenda was voted ‘Best Dressed’. Some of the boys commented that she always smelled like Chanel No. 5.
Brenda loved to be active and have fun. By third grade, she had cultured relationships with others that would last a lifetime. Once, on a trip to Idaho Falls with Elaine, there was a terrifying experience. While fighting over a stick of blackjack gum, Danny accidentally opened the suicide door on the car. Brenda had slid over his lap to snatch the gum. Instead, the door swung open. Elaine screamed, and Brenda promptly responded by trying to close the suicide door Danny had opened. To make matters worse, at the same time, the retreaded front passenger tile tire came apart. Brenda was clinging to the long emergency grab-cord behind the front seat of the old Mercury and trying to run while she held on to keep ahead of being pinned to the open suicide door, and dodging chunks of rubber. Needless to say, she won the prize for the fastest marathon in the family, but was consequentially banned from Black-Jack gum.
Brenda was easy-going, and able to survive the many funny and silly things life had to offer, including the mischievousness of Danny and Julie. Brenda saved Angela’s life once when the torture duo created a taste-testing experiment with Angela, just to see her sour-puss face. The disruption of the experiment led to a pumpkin-pie fight using spoon launchers. Luckily, Brenda knew just when to quit and clean-up before Rex and Elaine returned from their date. She held Danny on her shoulders so he could reach up and clean the highest splatter marks. Brenda and Angela developed a special bond. Brenda enjoyed life and all it had to offer. She was a delight as a friend, sister, and daughter. She was vivacious, enthusiastic, and had a beautiful smile.
Along with that smile came a unique and infectious laugh no one could escape. She attended school in the Snake River School District from the 1st grade through the 12th grade. She created ways to have fun and made friends easily through acts of kindness and unselfishness. In the third-grade, Brenda developed friendships with LaRue & Rita VanEpps, Susan Marcum, and Donna Katseanes, as well as many other friendships that will endure beyond this life.
When this group of girls were older, as a reward for helping Brenda clean the Moreland Sunshine Laundromat, which they owned, Rex and Elaine would to take them all to Salt Lake City. The girls had so much fun! One evening, they watched the Sound of Music and had ice cream in a real parlor with an ice cream bar. The next morning, the time had arrived to leave for Lagoon so the girls could buy tickets to see The Monkeys and Herman’s Hermits. The girls were naïve about visiting the big city, and the night before, had decided to rig a trap by stringing all kinds of junk in front of the door. This trap was intended to catch the ‘robbers’ they were sure would come for them while they were asleep. The robbers never came, but Rex did, and was captured.
Brenda passed her time baking, hitting the slopes to ski, and dating boys. Desserts were her specialty, and the kids were always there to lick the bowl. She learned to make red velvet cake, caramel nougat rolls, and fudge – lots of fudge. The girls were always having parties, hanging out, and dancing. One year, Santa brought Brenda a record player, which promptly played 24/7, along with the phone on a party line stuck to Brenda’s ear. The growing kids loved to sneak into Brenda’s room and listen to Elvis, The Association, Grass Roots, Rolling Stones, etc. They were crazy about the Beatles as they grew in popularity. They went to Blackfoot to see the Beatles in the ‘Hard Day’s Night’ movie. There were slumber parties afterward, and the gang sang along just like silly teenage girls! In 1966, when Brenda was 17, she was sealed together with the Rex and Elaine family in the LDS, Idaho Falls Temple. She graduated from Snake River High School in 1967, along with many of her close friends.
After High School, Brenda attended Ricks College in Rexburg, Idaho from 1968 to 1969 where she met Jim Warren. Jim and Brenda were married in 1969 in the Idaho Falls temple, and made the city of Idaho Falls their first home. Two daughters were born to Brenda and Jim, including Holly in 1972, and Amy in 1976. The family later moved to Spokane. After their divorce in 1985, Brenda moved to the Boise, Idaho area. There, she developed a deeper and closer relationship with her daughters. She worked for many years in the Bakery Department at Albertson’s. Holly graduated from High School in 1989, and then from college in 1992 as a registered nurse. Amy graduated from High School in 1992, and then from college in 1998 as a teacher.
During these years, Brenda offered care to her aunts, Pearl and Nel, as they struggled through old age, both eventually reaching over 100-years old. They loved Brenda and often commented on how kind she was. Even as a single mother, Brenda was a sterling example of the Savior’s admonition in Matthew – “your light must shine before others so they may see your good deeds and glorify your Heavenly Father.” Brenda exemplified the strength women possess to develop and maintain loving relationships. She was a light that could not be extinguished. Brenda was always at her daughters’ sides, ready to help and encourage them in meeting life’s challenges.
Brenda loved family get-togethers, including fishing in Ashton, picking choke cherries, traveling like sardines in a small RV to Disneyland, and many others. She became an expert in building strong family and friendship memories that will last forever. She was wise beyond her years, as well as patient and loving.
While living in Boise, Brenda met and married Ron Williams in 1987. They made their home in the Tri-Cities area in Washington. Her marriage added three stepdaughters from Ron’s previous marriage, including Becky, Sarah, and Ronnie. Brenda loved Ron and together they worked to support their children. Brenda continued working at Yokes Grocery Store in the seafood department. Becky brought a beautiful new grandchild into their lives – DeAnna. Ronnie brought Natasha. As a grandmother, Brenda loved caring for her granddaughters DeAnna and Natasha Williams. Brenda always had a smile and a big open heart. Holly’s daughter Kira was born in 2000. Brenda was so excited to see her great granddaughter Josie – soon to born to Kira.
Brenda stood by Ron’s side during his cancer diagnosis and treatment and was a loving and devoted partner to the end. Ron passed in 2020. With Ron’s death Brenda moved to live with Holly and Mitch and gained 3 new grandchildren that she cherished as her own, Lily, Tessa and Colton. Brenda will enjoy helping to send her great-granddaughter Josie’s to earth.
Brenda never let unfortunate or hard circumstances affect her spirit. She always looked toward the brighter, more positive things in life. Her enduring faith chiseled a beautiful soul. The last moments in her life were spent doing kind deeds for cherished loved ones. Her family was precious to her, and she listened to their voices whisper good-bye. Knowing and loving each one of her family members was the success story of her life. She was true and loyal to her last breath. Each of us will enjoy the memories her quiet service helped build. She is an integral part of many, many lives.
She is survived by daughters, Holly Hensley (Mitch), Amy Lee (Jeff), Rebecca Williams, Sara Williams, Ronnie Williams. Grandchildren: DeAnna Williams, Kira Hansen (Colt), Lily Hensley, Tessa Hensley, Natasha Williams and Colton Hensley. Brothers: Rex McNair, (Elaine), Blaine Swallow. Sister Phyllis Wright (Rich), Dan McNair (Deana), Julie Thornton (Brad), Angela McCandless (Jay), and many dear nieces and nephews and extended family and friends. Preceding Brenda in death are her husband, Ron Williams; parents, Milton and Ada McNair, and two sisters Valene Taylor (Bob) and Linda Mayer (Randy).
Viewing will start at 10:00 a.m. on Friday, September 30, 2022 with Funeral Service at 11:00 am at the Bickleton Evangelical Community Church located at 212 So Monroe Street, Bickleton, WA. Burial will follow at the Bickleton I.O.O.F. Cemetery. Those wishing to sign Brenda's online memorial book may do so at www.funeralhomesmith.com Smith Funeral Home is in care of arrangements.
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